Programming, Thoughts

Startup Girlfriend Threesome Balance

And this one comes up a lot.. How do you balance your girlfriend with your 60-70 hr / week job affair?? Short answer - you don't without some sacrifice. Choosing your job before girlfriend creates a rift in communication and questions about priority. Choosing your girlfriend before your job results in unnecessary stress, poor work, and unwarranted work-review meetings with your boss.

What do you do? And how do you achieve this balance when it seems impossible? I'll start by saying that it's not an easy task, but if you want results, you must be attentive and willing to put in the effort with sacrifices.

  1. Communication is key. Don't fret the hours and be confident on what your needs are. Make sure you and your girlfriend are aware of the commitment necessary for both people to be happy.. You get to work while she curls up next to you in bed.
  2. Keep your priorities straight. Don't let the love of your life become an afterthought. Your girlfriend loves and cares about you -- something that your job can't offer. Emotional support is the name of the game. Make sure she knows that you're not purposefully ignoring her for your work.
  3. Reassure her about your free time availability. This is a big one. You must be able to set boundaries on when you're working and when you're playing. There's no in between ground, so make sure you have your entire day's schedule straight. The best is when you both can find free time to work together.
  4. Create a list of goals each day, and achieve them. This one may seem unnecessary, but it's important. These don't have to be work related at all! Even small goals like 'Take girlfriend out to dinner' or 'Spoon her for at least 20 minutes' should be on this list.
  5. Compromise. This is a given in any relationship, but especially important in the startup / girlfriend threesome. Your weekends are limited while hers are empty. Go out and have fun, but let her know that you'll need to be up early the next morning to get your shit done.
  6. Have fun. Don't let the work clog your mind. I am for one, an emotional robot whenever I'm working. It's either coding or girlfriend.. They both deserve your full attention. When you're out having fun, have fun and don't worry about work until you boot up your laptop again. Trust me, there will be plenty of time to do that.

These are the most important things off the top of my head. Any less and I wouldn't be the best working / loving man I could be. Life moves on in mysterious ways, but you can't get what you want or deserve without setting some boundaries with communication. I suck at it, but I'm working towards a more mutually beneficial threesome here.. Coding, love, happiness. That's all.

Programming, Thoughts


For as long as I can remember, I've always done things at the last moment.. Homework, tests, chores, jobs, applications, work -- anything that had any remote importance in my life always took a backseat burner until I decided to stop being a lazy asshole about it.

I'm not entirely sure where my procrastination originates from, but I know many of you have the exact same problem I do. Fortunately, I've so far been able to scrape by by doing the bare minimum. But I want to change.. I want to work hard, play hard, and not just on the weekends. Procrastination is one of my biggest weaknesses, and I don't want it to consume my life any further.

I need to approach each day as part of a longer journey, not just an ephemeral work bender. In the long run, small amounts of work each day ensures better quality of work, as well as a less stressful life. Slow and steady wins the race, and I am the fattest, laziest turtle out there. Patience and discipline my friends -- that is what I need.


Why I Love Vacations


This is going to sound very hypocritical from one of my previous posts, but I need to readjust my viewpoints. Vacations are all about meeting new, cool motherfuckas (people). I cannot express how entertaining, enchanting, heart-warming, awesome, dope my last vacation was because there is nothing like meeting new people, especially mutual friends.

From Pittsburgh -> Richmond -> Hampton -> NYC with love, my vacation has really allowed me forget about all the necessities and hard work involved in The Grind. Vacations allow me to take that crucial step back from the working world and realize that there is more to life than just progressing your career. Admittedly, it would be nice to make some guap in the future, but it's also mentally and physically vital to maintain your relationships outside of work, something that Berkeley doesn't teach you at all.

After one fender-bender, one meal-a-day for a week straight, one amazing music festival (I love our family), one unforgettable, well maybe partially-forgotten New Years in NYC, I've made it back in one piece, and I am so stoked to see what I can do for myself in 2014.


Why I Hate Vacations

With winter break coming up, and my last round of finals almost over, I feel obligated to write about my thoughts on the time off. Success is earned, not given. I'm almost full-time graduated from Cal; I just got accepted into the Graduate school I want to attend, and I'm almost full-time employed in Silicon Valley, yet I feel absolutely no need of slowing down.. Granted, everyone needs to take a breather -- mine's going to be a sick East Coast city sampler with lots of friends, lots of rest, and lots of fun this Christmas. But what's the point in a real vacation?

Two years ago, I traveled with my sister to Prague for my what should have been an awesome spring break and birthday bash.. The whole experience felt surreal: the people, the food, the bars, the hostels, etc. But at the same time, I always felt like I was wasting time -- Prague feels like a fleeting memory at this point, and I would have much rather slept and played video games the whole time I was there.. If you stay in foreign country for less than a month, then the time spent there is a sinkhole. It isn't a so-called new experience through vivid, cultural puppeteering.. Hell no.

Traveling to different countries for that long just makes you a damn tourist, the same tourist that does the exact same things as generations past. What happened to novel experiences where the culture is shoved down your throat, rather than spoon-fed through some English reading tour guide?

Iceland, Greenland, and Antarctica are just 3 of the many countries that I want to LIVE in, not vacate to. Push your boundaries and stay curious. Vacation is just a pitiful excuse to avoid both of those things; you end up seeing more than you're doing, and in my line of thought, you're better off watching a slideshow of HD images from your bedroom, than to fly out for a mentally disorienting dreamland.

If I'm not learning, I'm wasting my time. I have an insatiable thirst for knowledge and novel experiences, and being a tourist bores me. I think vacations are stupid. I'd much rather head home, eat a delicious meal, and hang out with my family -- that too me is the best vacation I could ask for.